An abridged set of Jewish laws in English focusing only on laws of Intimacy. This code aims to be as comprehensive as the Shulchan Aruch and is intended to be easily understood and implemented by both the general Jewish population and the courts.
Every Jewish man is obligated to marry and have children, as the Torah commands, "Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28). The aim is to fulfill the Divine Will and to bring sanctity into the most intimate aspects of human life.
Source: Torah, Genesis 1:28; Mishnah, Yevamot 6:6; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 1:1
The appropriate age for marriage varies, but the Mishneh Torah states that a man should ideally marry at the age of 18, or between 16 and 24.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Ishut 15:2; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 1:3
One should choose a spouse who is God-fearing and virtuous. The Talmud teaches that one should be more concerned with a woman's virtues than with her beauty.
Source: Mishnah, Taanit 4:8; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 2:2
Certain relationships are forbidden by Torah law, such as incestuous relationships, and relationships with married women. Extra caution must be exercised to avoid such transgressions.
Source: Torah, Leviticus 18; Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Issurei Biah; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 16
The initial stage of marriage is Kiddushin. It is effected through the giving of a ring or something of value by the groom to the bride, in the presence of two witnesses. This act separates her from all other men.
Source: Mishnah, Kiddushin 1:1; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 27:1
Following Kiddushin, the Nisuin ceremony takes place, which typically involves the recitation of Sheva Berachot (Seven Blessings) and the couple's union under the chuppah (canopy). This act fully completes the marriage.
Source: Talmud, Ketubot 7b; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 62:1
A Ketubah, a legal document outlining the husband's obligations to his wife, must be drafted and signed. It serves as a binding contract that protects the wife's financial and personal rights.
Source: Mishnah, Ketubot 1:1; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 66:1
Intimacy in marriage should be approached with sanctity and love, fulfilling the mitzvah of onah (conjugal rights). Both partners have responsibilities to meet each other's needs and to abstain only for reasons permitted by Halacha, such as niddah (ritual impurity).
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Ishut 14:1-3; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 76:1
A woman becomes a Niddah upon the commencement of her menstrual flow. Intimacy is forbidden during this period and for seven clean days following the end of the menstrual flow. After immersion in a mikvah (ritual bath), the couple may resume marital relations.
Source: Torah, Leviticus 18:19; Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 183:1
It is forbidden for a man to be alone in a secluded area with a woman to whom he is not married, to prevent any illicit relationships. This law, known as Yichud, is stringently observed to maintain the sanctity of relationships.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Issurei Biah 22:1; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 22:1
This is the beginning of a guide to laws of intimacy in accordance with Jewish Halacha, but let us remember, these laws are not mere restrictions. They are pathways, designed to elevate our most private moments into acts that reflect the Divine.
Both men and women are obligated to maintain modest behavior and dress. This enhances the sanctity of marital life and accords dignity to the act of intimacy.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De'ot 5:6; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 21:1-2
The use of contraception is a complex halachic issue that generally requires consultation with a competent authority. However, under certain circumstances, it may be permitted.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:5-18; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 5:12
The frequency of marital intimacy varies depending on the husband's occupation and health. The Mishneh Torah outlines different categories, aiming for a balance between marital satisfaction and other life commitments.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De'ot 5:4; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 76:6
It is prohibited for men and women who are not married to each other to engage in physical touch, even if it is non-sexual in nature.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:1; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 21:5
The practice of being Shomer Negiah involves avoiding any unnecessary physical contact with members of the opposite sex to whom one is not married or closely related.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:1-2; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 21:1
If a marriage must unfortunately be dissolved, a Get (bill of divorce) is required. The husband must give the Get to the wife, and it must be accepted by her in the presence of witnesses.
Source: Mishnah, Gittin 1:1; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 119:1-3
While the primary goal of marriage is to fulfill the commandment of "Be fruitful and multiply," there may be halachic grounds for family planning. Consultation with a qualified rabbinic authority is advised in such cases.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:18; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 5:12
Intimacy is prohibited on Shabbat and festivals from the commencement of twilight until nightfall, as well as on fast days.
Source: Talmud, Shabbat 86b; Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 240:1
Marital relations are permitted during pregnancy, although some have the custom to refrain during the last trimester. Each case should be considered individually and may require consultation with a rabbinic authority.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:8; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 25:1
Certain protocols in the act of intimacy exist to ensure that the sanctity is maintained. These include avoiding speech during intimacy and the necessity for both partners to consent.
Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De'ot 5:4; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 25:2
There are specific prayers and blessings meant to sanctify the act of intimacy, elevating it to an act of connecting with the Divine.
Source: Talmud, Berakhot 60b; Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 239:1
This brings us to the end of this initial, abridged set of laws concerning intimacy in Jewish life. It is hoped that this work serves as a primer for a deeper exploration into the magnificent tapestry of Halacha, guiding us in transforming every aspect of our lives into a consecrated act of unity with HaShem.