diff --git a/src/twee/menu/help.tw b/src/twee/menu/help.tw
index 15dac4be..b9442a89 100644
--- a/src/twee/menu/help.tw
+++ b/src/twee/menu/help.tw
@@ -1,5 +1,4 @@
:: Help [no_checkpoint]
-
### Keyboard controls
* W (K) - *Select previous link.*
diff --git a/src/twee/menu/warpzone.tw b/src/twee/menu/warpzone.tw
index b7afc645..5f6f2b91 100644
--- a/src/twee/menu/warpzone.tw
+++ b/src/twee/menu/warpzone.tw
@@ -1,5 +1,4 @@
:: Debug console message [script]
-
$(window).on('sm.story.started', function (event, {
story
}) {
diff --git a/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-route.tw b/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-route.tw
index 57cca35c..a8fd280c 100644
--- a/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-route.tw
+++ b/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-route.tw
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ Satisfied, you take your hands out and stop.
* [[Keep going.|Keep masturbating.]]
:: Keep masturbating.
-...Look, um, I'm not here to judge or anything. Maybe you're just here cause you're curious. Maybe you wanna see all the options. Get all the endings.
+...Look, uh, as your narrator, I'm not here to judge you or anything. Maybe you're just here because you're curious. Maybe you want to see all the options. Get all the endings.
Still, there's plenty of other stuff you could be doing at this party instead. This is kind of... weird?
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@ Still, there's plenty of other stuff you could be doing at this party instead. T
:: Think about...
You try to quell the nagging voice in your head by visualizing a huge, voluptuous pair of <%-s.hg?"balls":"breasts"%>.
-In your mind's eye, you can see every drop of sweat covering their furry mass, just inches from your face. Perfectly round, firm, and begging to be worshipped. What you wouldn't give to be smothered by those tantalizing orbs...
+In your mind's eye, you can see every drop of sweat covering their furry mass, just inches from your face. Perfectly round, firm, and begging to be worshiped. What you wouldn't give to be smothered by those tantalizing orbs...
There. Happy?
@@ -68,7 +68,7 @@ Suddenly, you hear a loud pounding at the door.
* [[Escape through window.|Escape through window.]]
:: Finish!!!
-Throwing care to the wind, you yank your pants down and continue abusing your gentials, steadily approaching climax... Getting closer and closer... Until...!!! You achieve orgasm. It feels wonderful. Your body convulses a little, and you let out a loud moan of satisfaction.
+Throwing care to the wind, you yank your pants down and continue abusing your genitals, steadily approaching climax... Getting closer and closer... Until...!!! You achieve orgasm. It feels wonderful. Your body convulses a little, and you let out a loud moan of satisfaction.
Seconds later, the door swings open to reveal a gigantic brown bear wearing a tank top and shorts. "...!!!"
@@ -81,7 +81,7 @@ Thinking quickly, you yank your pants up, pull the nearest window open, and dive
Just then, the door behind you swings open to reveal Hazel Gently, a buxom brown bear.
-As you clear the window sill, you look out and realize that this window is on the second story, overlooking the backyard. You faceplant gracelessly in the backyard and rapidly lose consciousness.
+As you clear the window sill, you look out and realize that this window is on the second story, overlooking the backyard. You face-plant gracelessly in the backyard and rapidly lose consciousness.
In your last waking seconds, you realize this was a very stupid idea.
@@ -111,7 +111,7 @@ You groan from under <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> oppressive mass, and try to say, actu
:: Struggle under Hazel.
You attempt to struggle for breath, but as a petite rabbit, you're hopelessly outmatched. <%-s.hg?"He":"She"%> realizes <%-s.hg?"he":"she"%>'s suffocating you, and slowly gets up, squishing <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> rumbling belly against you in the process.
-<%-s.hg?"He":"She"%> eventually towers proudly over your collapsed body. "So. How about we make a little deal? I promise not to share the *embarassing* details of how you jizzed yourself right in front of me, and in exchange..." A twisted smile comes across <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> lips. "I get to eat you."
+<%-s.hg?"He":"She"%> eventually towers proudly over your collapsed body. "So. How about we make a little deal? I promise not to share the *embarrassing* details of how you jizzed yourself right in front of me, and in exchange..." A twisted smile comes across <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> lips. "I get to eat you."
* [[What? Never!]]
* [[O-okay...]]
@@ -155,7 +155,7 @@ The bear's paws clench around your skinny shoulders, and lift you effortlessly f
:: Hazel noms you. [vore]
You attempt to squeal out in fear, but Hazel's giant bear mouth has already clamped down hard over your head. Your face is pressed into <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> slobbery tongue as <%-s.hg?"he":"she"%> effortlessly slides your head and shoulders into <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> maw.
-"Mmmm," Hazel moans as <%-s.hg?"he":"she"%> tastes your fur. You cringe as your face is slowly squeezed into the slimy, suffocating tunnel of <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> esophagus. You're still wearing your top, but you feel Hazel's paws effortlessly yank your jeans off as <%-s.hg?"he":"she"%> devours you.
+"Mmmm," Hazel moans as <%-s.hg?"he":"she"%> tastes your fur. You cringe as your face is slowly squeezed into the slimy, suffocating tunnel of <%-s.hg?"his":"her"%> esophagus. Hazel's paws effortlessly yank your jeans off as <%-s.hg?"he":"she"%> devours you, leaving you wearing only your top.
You remember reading once that while their stomach acids can easily dissolve fur, flesh, and bone, bears often struggle to digest denim and leather.
@@ -234,7 +234,7 @@ You optimistically ask if that means <%-s.hg?"he":"she"%>'ll let you out now.
* [[Please let me out of here!|Beg for Hazel to let you out.]]
:: Beg for Hazel to let you out. [vore]
-You tell <%-s.hg?"him":"her"%> you're starting to feel short of breath, and very exhausted. The liquids around you are starting to sting your fur.
+You tell <%-s.hg?"him":"her"%> you're starting to feel short of breath, and very exhausted. The surrounding liquids are starting to sting your fur.
"Awww," Hazel laughs, "is widdle Holly-wolly going nap-naps in the big scary bear's tum-tum?"
diff --git a/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-vore-epilogue.tw b/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-vore-epilogue.tw
index c6f446f4..6acaf6a0 100644
--- a/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-vore-epilogue.tw
+++ b/src/twee/story/bathroom/hazel-vore-epilogue.tw
@@ -1,5 +1,4 @@
:: Epilogue: Hazel Post Vore. [socmed]
-
diff --git a/src/twee/story/living-room/_living-room.tw b/src/twee/story/living-room/_living-room.tw
index def113da..adf9f0fe 100644
--- a/src/twee/story/living-room/_living-room.tw
+++ b/src/twee/story/living-room/_living-room.tw
@@ -69,21 +69,21 @@ s.partyFlavorState = +s.partyFlavorState || 0;
if (!setup.partyDanceLiterals) {
setup.partyDanceLiterals = [
- "You see a group of labradors cheering on their friend as he attempts to do a keg-stand.",
+ "You see a group of Labradors cheering on their friend as he attempts to do a keg-stand.",
"A pair of black cats are looking on with awe as a dog proudly presents his enormous, swollen belly.",
`The speakers start playing a techno remix of Marie Predatora's latest rap single: "Belly Drop, Belly Drop (Belly Drop)."`,
-`A grey wolf with a huge protruding gut accidentally bumps into you. "S'cuse me," she mutters as she walks away.`,
+`A grey wolf with a huge protruding gut accidentally bumps into you. "'Scuse me," she mutters as she walks away.`,
`Your ears perk up: the speakers are a slow-jam by the classic R&B duo, Thumper & Bang. You tap your furry toes happily.`,
`The sound system blares with the shouty vocals and distorted guitar of "groupie gas (ft. some snack idk)" by LOÜD GRÜMBLE.`,
`A tall black wolf in a scarf and a flannel shirt brought an acoustic guitar to the party, and is playing "Wonderwall" with an extremely thoughtful expression.`,
`A slightly chubby owl notices you from across the room and begins licking her beak.`,
-`A drunk labrador begins nuzzling you. "Oh my gooood dudes, this rabbit is soooo soft..." You blush. Surprisingly, his fur is extremely soft as well.`,
+`A drunk Labrador begins nuzzling you. "Oh my gooood dudes, this rabbit is soooo soft..." You blush. Surprisingly, his fur is extremely soft as well.`,
`A green anaconda wags her tail in time with the music, and accidentally trips two people. "Oh, sorry!" she stammers, ",,,Sorry again!"`,
`There aren't many other prey at this party. You feel a little small by comparison to all the huge anthros here.`,
`A nice, easy song starts playing. You consider offering to dance with one of the guys around you, but most of them are several feet taller than you.`,
`A heavy-set bear with a selfie stick is recording herself as she shakes her massive hips. You try not to stare, but it's absolutely hypnotic.`,
`A lioness whispers to her friend, "Did you know there's a rabbit here?" They snicker. "Woah. Do you think it has a vore fetish?"`,
-`You see a catboy eagerly following a lioness out of the room. They both seem quite excited.`,
+`You see a cat boy eagerly following a lioness out of the room. They both seem quite excited.`,
`A big brown stallion in a green jacket seems to take notice of your dancing. He winks at you from across the room.`,
].sort(e => 0.5 - Math.random());
@@ -105,7 +105,7 @@ s.partyFlavorDragon = text.includes("green dragon girl");
s.partyFlavorOwl = text.includes("owl");
s.partyFlavorWonderwolf = text.includes("wolf in a scarf");
s.partyFlavorLioness = text.includes("lioness");
-s.partyFlavorLabrador = text.includes("A drunk labrador");
+s.partyFlavorLabrador = text.includes("A drunk Labrador");
s.partyFlavorGutbump = text.includes("accidentally bumps into you");
s.partyFlavorBasil = text.includes("brown stallion");
return text;
diff --git a/src/twee/story/living-room/basil-route.tw b/src/twee/story/living-room/basil-route.tw
index 550494ff..1dcccb3e 100644
--- a/src/twee/story/living-room/basil-route.tw
+++ b/src/twee/story/living-room/basil-route.tw
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ He shrugs. "Suit yourself," he says, then chugs both bottles in hardly a few sec
Basil stares at your face for a second, and raises an eyebrow.
-"...Don't I know you from somwhere?"
+"...Don't I know you from somewhere?"
* [[I don't think so...]]
* [[My name's Hollis?]]
@@ -35,19 +35,19 @@ Basil stares at your face for a second, and raises an eyebrow.
:: Thanks for the compliment!
He chuckles. "Y'know, you look familiar..." He spends a few seconds thinking, and raises an eyebrow.
-"...Do I know you from somwhere?"
+"...Do I know you from somewhere?"
* [[I don't think so...]]
* [[My name's Hollis?]]
:: I'd be happy to show you some more...
-He raises an eyebrows, and a satisfied smile comes across his face as he catches your meaning.
+He raises an eyebrow, and a satisfied smile comes across his face as he catches your meaning.
-He delicately takes your hand in his, and steps closer to you until he's almost looking straight down at you. It's a little bit intimidating.
+He delicately takes your hand in his, and steps closer to you until he's almost looking straight down at you. It's a little intimidating.
"Y'know, you look kinda familiar..." He spends a few seconds thinking, and raises an eyebrow.
-"...Do I know you from somwhere?"
+"...Do I know you from somewhere?"
* [[I don't think so...]]
* [[My name's Hollis?]]
@@ -71,7 +71,7 @@ His eyes flash with recognition.
* [[Oh, right!]]
:: Oh, right!
-You remember him now. Basil was a an award-winning track star, who graduated a year ahead of you. His younger sister once gave you math tutoring.
+You remember him now. Basil was an award-winning track star, who graduated a year ahead of you. His younger sister once gave you math tutoring.
"Yeah, small world, huh?" he says,
@@ -148,7 +148,6 @@ He brings himself down to your eye level. "Whaddya say we get a little more... r
You nod, trying to keep your cool, and not betray how excited you are.
-* **TODO**
* [[...Do you want to eat me?]]
:: Is that a threat?
@@ -173,7 +172,7 @@ After several seconds, he separates his lips from yours. "Well Hollis, whaddya s
:: ...Do you want to eat me?
*CW: Exhibitionism. Masturbation.*
-Basil's face looks serious as you ask this. Unconsciously, he begins salivating. He swallows a little saliva and asks, "Hollis... Do you wanna get eaten?"
+Basil's face looks serious as you ask this. Unconsciously, he begins salivating. He swallows a little saliva and asks, "Hollis... Do *you* want to be eaten?"
* [[Yes.|Yes, eat me Basil.]]
* [[No.|No thank you. (Basil)]]
@@ -187,14 +186,14 @@ Basil scoffs a little, and raises an eyebrow. "You want me to swallow you in fro
* [[No, wait.|No, don't eat me Basil.]]
:: No, don't eat me Basil.
-Basil frowns. "Heh. Change your mind?" He smugly twiddles his thumbs, "That's a shame, I was looking forward to get a taste of you... You're sure you don't want it?"
+Basil frowns. "Heh. Change your mind?" He smugly twiddles his thumbs, "That's a shame, I was looking forward to getting a taste of you... You're sure you don't want it?"
* [[Well, as long as you don't digest me...]]
* [[No, thank you.|No thank you. (Basil)]]
* [[How about a taste of my tail instead? (¯- w •¯)|Oh, is my tail giving you ideas?]]
:: Agree to let Basil eat you in the living room.
-Something inside your head is screaming at you to run, begging you to not to succumb to such a pointless fate. Maybe the punch is messing with your head. But right now, all you can think about is the wet, hot flesh inside this horse's slobbery mouth.
+Something inside your head is screaming at you to run, begging you not to succumb to such a pointless fate. Maybe the punch is messing with your head. But right now, all you can think about is the wet, hot flesh inside this horse's slobbery mouth.
You nod your head again. Unconsciously, your tail starts wagging.
@@ -205,7 +204,7 @@ Basil rises to his feet, a pleased, benevolent smile on his face. He removes his
:: Undress in the middle of the party.
You attract the attention of a few onlookers as you suddenly shuck off your clothes, and drop them on the floor. You hear a few whoops and hollers. Soon, nearly the whole crowd in the living room is looking at you with anticipation, murmuring eagerly amongst themselves.
-Basil towers over you. A bit of his drool drips on your left ear, causing you to twitch. You're sure you can make out a bulge in his trousers. "Huh," the horse says, sneaking interested glances at your naked body, "All this time I thought you were... Nevermind." He licks his lips and says, "Let's give these folks a show!"
+Basil towers over you. A bit of his drool drips on your left ear, causing you to twitch. You're sure you can make out a bulge in his trousers. "Huh," the horse says, sneaking interested glances at your naked body, "All this time I thought you were... Never mind." He licks his lips and says, "Let's give these folks a show!"
The stallion grips you by the shoulders and stretches his mouth wide open. Your last thing you see are his flat white teeth, framing the inviting entrance to his gullet.
@@ -218,7 +217,7 @@ The party disappears, and your surroundings are swiftly replaced by the darkness
A dozen strangers watch in awe as the massive horse swallows you.
-"Woooh," calls a labrador, "Armstrong finally found a snack!"
+"Woooh," calls a Labrador, "Armstrong finally found a snack!"
"Total cutie of a meal!" remarks an owl.
@@ -235,7 +234,7 @@ Basil pats his belly with a satisfied smile on his face, and takes a seat in a c
Around him, the scene is a bit chaotic. Following his lead, the room has erupted into a flagrant display of sex and devourment. Clothes and full-bellied predators scatter the room. The few remaining prey are either hiding atop furniture, or actively being seduced by their peckish peers. Those with a penchant for neologism might call it a vorgy.
-Some watch enviously as a black cat's tail is slurped up between the lips of a hungry anaconda. Meanwhile, a drunk labrador burps up the clothes of one of his friends. A lioness restrains a Shih Tzu girl's shoulders while her friend swallows her feet-first.
+Some watch enviously as a black cat's tail is slurped up between the lips of a hungry anaconda. Meanwhile, a drunk Labrador burps up the clothes of one of his friends. A lioness restrains a Shih Tzu girl's shoulders while her friend swallows her feet-first.
Basil smiles as the party rages on. Another night well planned.
@@ -253,7 +252,7 @@ The next morning, Basil goes to the bathroom.
"Phew," Basil says, squeezing his abdomen, "I'm glad I only ate one last night, otherwise my figure would be completely wrecked." He walks to the living room, to observe the resultant wreckage from last night's rager.
-Unsurpsingly, the living room is a complete mess. The floor is scattered with plastic cups and a couple of passed-out predators. Basil grabs a trash bag, and starts to clean up the trash.
+Unsurprisingly, the living room is a complete mess. The floor is scattered with plastic cups and a couple of passed-out predators. Basil grabs a trash bag, and starts to clean up the trash.
As he's nearing the entertainment center, he realizes that his sister's gaming console (a GameStation 4 Pro, to be precise) is missing. The AC adapter has been ripped straight out of the wall, probably by some drunk opportunistic thief.
@@ -295,14 +294,14 @@ Basil too is attracting some attention, something you realize when you feel two
:: What's going on out there? [vore]
Back outside, a pair of black cats have asked permission to touch Basil's bulging gut. You feel them curiously poking and prodding you, stifling little giggles and gasps as you twitch and move in response. "Woooah," one of them says, "This is *soo* hot. Hope it likes being horseshit!"
-Basil winks at the cat, "Stick around, and maybe you'll join them for the afterparty!" They both squeal and scamper off giggling.
+Basil winks at the cat, "Stick around, and maybe you'll join them for the after-party!" They both squeal and scamper off giggling.
* [[Wait, horseshit?]]
:: No thank you. (Basil)
"...Oh. Of course," Basil says, awkwardly. He stands, and turns to leave. "Just uh, be careful out there, alright?" He starts to walk away.
-Basil walks away, back into the throng of dancing partygoers.
+Basil walks away, back into the throng of dancing party goers.
* [[Return to the Foyer|The Foyer.]]
@@ -359,7 +358,7 @@ Money! You have money, you tell him!
"I dunno if you've seen my house, but I'm *really* not that susceptible to bribery." He pokes your outline. "Jeez, you're really taking your time in there. Most meals woulda softened up by now. And I'd *reeally* like you to stop talking now."
-You're too light-headed to respond. You need to rest, you decide, before you can struggle any more. Just a short nap. You close your eyes, and drift off into oblivion.
+You're too light-headed to respond. You need to rest, you decide, before you can struggle any more. Just a short nap. You close your eyes, and drift off into oblivion.
"Nothing else to say? Phew, finally..."
diff --git a/src/twee/story/living-room/byron-route.tw b/src/twee/story/living-room/byron-route.tw
index cb730117..f885cf57 100644
--- a/src/twee/story/living-room/byron-route.tw
+++ b/src/twee/story/living-room/byron-route.tw
@@ -30,9 +30,9 @@ You walk over to the wolf. <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> continues sitting on the couch,
:: Uh, what?
You squint and say you're not really sure what <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%>'s talking about. <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> looks aloofly out at the party, <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> dark green eyes glistening beneath the jet-black fur of <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> face.
-Forgive an old hound's musings, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> says, It was once said that rabbits are good luck, so it seemed ominous that fortune would lead you here... <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> takes a sip of water, and continues, You tread like a small leaf on the wind... I wonder if we crueller beasts could learn something from that...
+Forgive an old hound's musings, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> says, It was once said that rabbits are good luck, so it seemed ominous that fortune would lead you here... <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> takes a sip of water, and continues, You tread like a small leaf on the wind... I wonder if we crueler beasts could learn something from that...
-You stare back at <%-s.bm?"him":"her"%> blankly. Is <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%>... flirting with you? <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> speaks like a moody teenaged vampire from a bad fanfiction, so it's sort of hard to tell.
+You stare back at <%-s.bm?"him":"her"%> blankly. Is <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%>... flirting with you? <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> speaks like a moody teenaged vampire from a bad fan fiction, so it's sort of hard to tell.
* [[...Have you tried the punch?]]
* [[...Compliment <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> shirt?|Compliment shirt?]]
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ You notice that underneath <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> flannel, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%>'s
Cool shirt, you say.
-Oh, what's this? The wolf gives you a little smile. Another soul moved by song? A kindred spirit, inspired by the Dingoes' poetries to muse on the thin, bloodless veneer of this shallow world?
+Oh, what's this? The wolf gives you a little smile. Another soul moved by song? A kindred spirit, inspired by the Dingoes' poetics to muse on the thin, bloodless veneer of this shallow world?
You stare blankly.
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ You stare blankly.
* [[Actually I just like their music...]]
:: Actually I just like their music...
-Oh, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> replies, frowning, I suppose I mistook you for a true afficionado. One who has stared into the ravenous abyss of sorrow, and emerged clad in the darkness of truth...
+Oh, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> replies, frowning, I suppose I mistook you for a true aficionado. One who has stared into the ravenous abyss of sorrow, and emerged clad in the darkness of truth...
<%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> begins tuning <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> guitar and ignoring you.
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ You roll your eyes.
:: Name 3 of their albums.
The wolf raises <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> eyebrows as you correctly rattle off three D.A.M.G album titles.
-The wolf is silent for a moment, then says, Truly, I am impressed by your knowledge. It is good to see *someone* at this party is not a cultureless ruthead. With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?
+The wolf is silent for a moment, then says, Truly, I am impressed by your knowledge. It is good to see *someone* at this party is not a culture-less ruthead. With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?
* [[The name's Freely. Hollis Freely.]]
@@ -124,7 +124,7 @@ You're skeptical.
* [[Why? So you can eat me?]]
:: Why? So you can eat me?
-What? <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> acts offended, and says, I had hoped that through my manners, I had proven myself above such silly suspicions. Unlike *some* of the savages here, I would never attempt to take advantage of a small, helpless herbivore in such an savage, uncivilized manner. It is beneath me.
+What? <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> acts offended, and says, I had hoped that through my manners, I had proven myself above such silly suspicions. Unlike *some* of the savages here, I would never attempt to take advantage of a small, helpless herbivore in such a savage, uncivilized manner. It is beneath me.
Uh-huh, you say.
@@ -149,9 +149,9 @@ Ugh, stop talking like that, you say. The whole "sensitive musician" shtick is o
* [[Don't take it.]]
:: Don't take it.
-You stay put. The wolf begins openly scowling, but remains careful not to let the other partygoers take notice.
+You stay put. The wolf begins openly scowling, but remains careful not to let the other party goers take notice.
-You slut! <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> pops <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> collar and snarls, You disgrace me and my family name! A gentle<%-s.bm?"man":"woman"%> cannot let a slight like that go unrepayed. I demand satisfaction.
+You slut! <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> pops <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> collar and snarls, You disgrace me and my family name! A gentle<%-s.bm?"man":"woman"%> cannot let a slight like that go unpunished. I demand satisfaction.
<%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> rises to <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> feet, slings <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> guitar over <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> back, and offers you <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> paw. Stand up, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> commands.
@@ -240,14 +240,14 @@ You shift uncomfortably, still trying not to look frightened. <%-s.bm?"Byron":"E
How obedient. I think deep down, your body is eager to fulfill its purpose in feeding me... <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> looks you over, then notices the small red gash on your shoulder.
-Oh dear, let me have a look at this... <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> sticks <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> nose into your fur, then drags <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> tongue across your wound. You wince as <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> tastes your blood. Hm, you are not exactly a cabernet, but still... I can see why my ancestors liked this...
+Oh dear, let me have a look at this... <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> sticks <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> nose into your fur, then drags <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> tongue across your wound. You wince as <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> tastes your blood. Hm, you are not exactly a Cabernet, but still... I can see why my ancestors liked this...
* [[G-gross...]]
:: G-gross...
You shudder as <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> laps at your wound, instinctively pulling away. The wolf stops licking, and stands while dusting off <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> shoulders.
-I would not expect you to understand a carnivore's complex palete, <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> says, The wretched pretenders of my kind claim to be civilized eaters of soy, fish, and dairy, but some appetites are not so easily tamed...
+I would not expect you to understand a carnivore's complex palate, <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> says, The wretched pretenders of my kind claim to be civilized eaters of soy, fish, and dairy, but some appetites are not so easily tamed...
You rest your chin on your palms with boredom.
@@ -281,7 +281,7 @@ You hide your anxieties behind a cool, detached demeanor, and tell Byron flatly
:: Oh, cool. Whatever.
Yup, sounds terrifying, you say.
-The wolf glares at you, and snarls, You seem to be under the impression that pretending to be brave will make me lose interest. <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> smirks, I admit, I derive some satisfaction from a prey's unbridled fear of dying, but I *am* going to eat you, whether you struggle or not.
+The wolf glares at you, and snarls, You seem to be under the impression that pretending to be brave will make me lose interest. <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> smirks, I admit, I derive some satisfaction from a watching a prey quiver with the unshakeable fear of dying, but I *am* going to eat you, whether you struggle or not.
You swallow nervously, and don't say anything.
@@ -344,7 +344,7 @@ You kick your legs out, striking <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> directly in the solar
:: It doesn't have to be that way... [vore]
Ah, what a splendid idea! <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> says, patting the outline of your head as if you were a toddler, You have picked a wonderful time to sell me on this fantastic utopia of yours! <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> sits down on the bed.
-What do you propose? Peaceful, vegan coexistence? Pred and prey suddenly singing kumbayah? Getting our fix by swallowing eggs, and supressing our desires into healthy outlets
, like rock songs about juicy, dripping flesh?
+What do you propose? Peaceful, vegan coexistence? Pred and prey suddenly singing Kumbaya? Getting our fix by swallowing eggs, and suppressing our desires into healthy outlets
, like rock songs about juicy, dripping flesh?
* [[Well, not exactly...]]
@@ -365,7 +365,7 @@ In the heat of the moment, you can't think of a retort. Rather, you're distracte
:: Ow... [vore]
You can hear <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> smiling, as <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> says, Oh dear, is it getting unpleasant in there? You should expect nothing less from the body of an alpha predator. Where's all your bravado now, little rabbit?
-Your body is now submerged in unpleasant liquids, and the air around you—which already smelled unpleasant—is now beginning to taste stale.
+Your body is now submerged in unpleasant liquids, and the surrounding air—which already smelled unpleasant—is now beginning to taste stale.
* [[<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%>... Let. Me. Out.|Let. me. out.]]
@@ -387,12 +387,12 @@ You ask if you can come out now, not feeling hopeful.
<%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> pats <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> gut. ...No, I think the lesson will be much more effective this way. Besides, I just had this flannel dry-cleaned. I doubt a pissant like you would understand how inconvenient it is to clean out vomit.
-You clench your knuckles with white hot rage. You're feeling rather delirious now, and can hardly think of a response.
+You clench your knuckles with white-hot rage. You're feeling rather delirious now, and can hardly think of a response.
* [[Fuck... you...]]
:: Fuck... you... [vore]
-You're about to die at the hands of an extremely annoying and conceited wolf. You'd think of something grander and more poetic to say about the pointless tragedy of it all, but nothing's coming to mind. Due to a lack of oxygen, mostly feeling very sleepy.
+You're about to die at the hands of an extremely annoying and conceited wolf. You'd think of something grander and more poetic to say about the pointless tragedy of it all, but nothing's coming to mind. Due to a lack of oxygen, you're mostly feeling very sleepy.
<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> sits on the bed, and continues to blather. You know, it's a shame we got off on the wrong foot, rabbit. Really, you were quite delicious, and I think we could have both had a very enjoyable experience if you only knew how to mind your manners.
@@ -401,22 +401,26 @@ Fuck... you... You wheeze out your last words, shut your eyes tight, and fall un
* [[<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%>: Digest.|Byron: Digest.]]
:: Byron: Digest.
-Sorry, did you say something?
+Sorry, did you say something? <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> says, with a self-satisfied half-smirk.
There is no reply.
-Hello? Still listening? <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> prods and presses on <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> stomach, only to feel a sickening wet crunch in response. Ah, I suppose they're finished. What a pity.
+Hello? Still listening? <%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> prods and presses on <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> stomach, only to feel a sickening wet crunch in response. Ah, I suppose you're finished. What a pity.
+
+<%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> heaves <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> huge belly off <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> lap, and rises from the bed, satisfied with <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> righteous punishment of the rabbit inside <%-s.bm?"him":"her"%>. The feeling of fullness is almost orgasmic as <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> body begins to digest.
+
+<%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> glances at <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> watch—an expensive antique. The wolf wondered, had it really only been a whole hour since <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> met Hollis? It felt longer than that. Oh well. Time to return to the party.
* [[<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%>: Go back downstairs.|Byron: Go back downstairs.]]
:: Byron: Go back downstairs.
-<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> opens the bedroom door. Standing patiently outside is Gus, the golden lab, and a gigantic, towering horse with his arms folded.
+<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> opens the bedroom door. Standing patiently outside is Gus, the golden Lab, and a gigantic, towering horse with his arms folded.
-...Ah! Basil Armstrong! What a lovely surprise! <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> fruitlessly tries to adjust <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> shirt to hide <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> massive bulging gut, and begins to exit. I'll have you know I was just- ack! Basil nonchalantly shoves the wolf aside as he leads Gus inside.
+...Ah! Basil Armstrong! What a lovely surprise! <%-s.bm?"He":"She"%> fruitlessly tries to adjust <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> shirt to hide <%-s.bm?"his":"her"%> massive bulging gut, and begins to exit. I'll have you know I was just l- ack! Basil nonchalantly shoves the wolf aside as he leads Gus inside.
"...Stay out of my room," the horse mutters gruffly, then slams the door shut behind him.
-<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> stands silently in the hallway. A few seconds pass. O-okay, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> murmurs.
+<%-s.bm?"Byron":"Emily"%> stands silently in the hallway. A few seconds pass. O-okay, <%-s.bm?"he":"she"%> murmurs. I hope nobody stole my guitar...
### The end.
diff --git a/src/twee/story/living-room/grab_some_punch.tw b/src/twee/story/living-room/grab_some_punch.tw
index 313130fb..02a0450d 100644
--- a/src/twee/story/living-room/grab_some_punch.tw
+++ b/src/twee/story/living-room/grab_some_punch.tw
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ They're vore voyeurs, and try to talk you into eating a micro.
<%
story.state.punchCount = visited(passage.id);
if (s.punchCount == 1) { %>
-You scoot over toward the thoughtfully placed snack table, and grab a small cup of fruit punch. Taking a little sip, you observe that it tastes mostly like vodka, with a little hint of kool-aid. ...Yuck.
+You scoot over toward the thoughtfully placed snack table, and grab a small cup of fruit punch. Taking a little sip, you observe that it tastes mostly like vodka, with a little hint of Kool-Aid. ...Yuck.
* [[Go back.|Dance a little.]]
<% } else if (s.punchCount == 2) { %>
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ You walk over to the snack table, and slam down a fourth cup of vodka punch. You
* [[Go back.|Dance a little.]]
<% } else { %>
-You walk over the punch bowl, look down at the vat of boozy kool-aid, and scowl with disgust. You get the nagging feeling that if you have one more drink, something bad will happen.
+You walk over the punch bowl, look down at the vat of boozy Kool-Aid, and scowl with disgust. You get the nagging feeling that if you have one more drink, something bad will happen.
<% if (s.rescuedKaia) { %>
Kaia the mouse looks up at you with concern. Uh, hi Hollis! I hear that punch can be pretty strong. Maybe you should take it slow?
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ Kaia the mouse looks up at you with concern. Uh, hi Hollis! I hear that
* [[Drink it anyway.|Get very very drunk.]] *(CW: Alcohol abuse, Player pred)*
<% } else { %>
-A labrador notices and elbows you. "Woahh, dude! Sick moves, but maybe you should go easy on the party sauce, kay dude?"
+A Labrador notices and elbows you. "Woahh, dude! Sick moves, but maybe you should go easy on the party sauce, kay dude?"
* [[Get very very drunk.]] *(CW: Alcohol abuse, Player pred)*
* [[Probably for the best...|Dance a little.]]
@@ -77,7 +77,7 @@ You nod, and thank her for looking out of your health.
You watch as the jackrabbit snarfs down the little white mouse with a satisfied smile. At first the thing squeaks out in fear, but the sound stops instantly as she begins snaking down her throat.
-You feel slightly guilty for not intervening. And somehow... aroused?
+You feel slightly guilty about not intervening. And somehow... aroused?
The jackrabbit moans, Mmm... Hrgh! then suddenly clutches at her throat. You see the bulge in her esophagus writhing around. The mouse didn't go down. Somehow, she's fighting her way back up! Kaff-kaff-kaff! Hork! Bleh! the jackrabbit coughs and wheezes, and finally, spits the mouse onto the floor.
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ The mouse nimbly lands in a roll, and scampers off out of the living room.
:: H-hey, don't do that!
You nervously shout at the jackrabbit not to eat the mouse.
-She stops dangling the little white mouse girl over her mouth, and turns to look at you. Despite being another rabbit, she has a carnivorous affect to her. She's a little bit taller than you, and judging by the length of her claws, she seems to have neglected trimming them for a few weeks.
+She stops dangling the little white mouse girl over her mouth, and turns to look at you. Despite being another rabbit, she has a carnivorous affect to her. She's a bit taller than you, and judging by the length of her claws, she seems to have neglected trimming them for a few weeks.
With an annoyed glare, she asks, Hmph. Whatsit to ya?
@@ -147,7 +147,7 @@ That's... good? you guess. You tell her you're really sorry. You promise, not al
* [[You're welcome!|Don't worry about it!]]
:: Don't worry about it!
-Kaia smiles up at you. Honestly, it'd be really embarassing if my whole purpose in life was to be a meal for some rando at a college party!
+Kaia smiles up at you. Honestly, it'd be really ç if my whole purpose in life was to be a meal for some rando at a college party!
You scratch your head, and say yeah, it would. You're awkwardly silent for a moment.
@@ -196,7 +196,7 @@ You must have blacked out.
:: Where am I now? [dark drunk]
You're at a very crowded house party. Or, you were. Uh, maybe you're somewhere else now? It's quieter here...
-Right now you're lying flat on your back. Your stomach feels a little gross, and your eyes are shut tightly. A few feet away is a stainless steel oven, fridge, and dishwasher, complimented by a midcentury modern marble countertop.
+Right now you're lying flat on your back. Your stomach feels a little gross, and your eyes are shut tightly. A few feet away is a stainless steel oven, fridge, and dishwasher, complimented by a mid-century modern marble countertop.
You're... on the floor of the kitchen. What will you do?
diff --git a/src/twee/story/living-room/gus-zeke-and-boomer.tw_unused b/src/twee/story/living-room/gus-zeke-and-boomer.tw_unused
index cbcf45e9..d1a982cd 100644
--- a/src/twee/story/living-room/gus-zeke-and-boomer.tw_unused
+++ b/src/twee/story/living-room/gus-zeke-and-boomer.tw_unused
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-