diff --git a/benchmark/http_simple_bench.sh b/benchmark/http_simple_bench.sh
index 30bd050b6486b8..ade6a8d10eb0ff 100755
--- a/benchmark/http_simple_bench.sh
+++ b/benchmark/http_simple_bench.sh
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ ab_hello_world() {
   data_fn="$dir/$date.data"
 
   echo "Bench $name starts in 3 seconds..."
-  # let shit calm down
+  # let things calm down
   sleep 3
 
   # hammer that as hard as it can for 10 seconds.
diff --git a/lib/dns.js b/lib/dns.js
index 8bd61caee96066..782cdfa3f79df4 100644
--- a/lib/dns.js
+++ b/lib/dns.js
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ const isIp = net.isIP;
 
 
 function errnoException(err, syscall, hostname) {
-  // FIXME(bnoordhuis) Remove this backwards compatibility shite and pass
+  // FIXME(bnoordhuis) Remove this backwards compatibility nonsense and pass
   // the true error to the user. ENOTFOUND is not even a proper POSIX error!
   if (err === uv.UV_EAI_MEMORY ||
       err === uv.UV_EAI_NODATA ||