knockknock.aiml

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?>
<aiml>
<!-- knockknock.aiml -->
<!-- Free software (c) ALICE A.I. Foundation -->
<!-- This program is open source code released under -->
<!-- the terms of the GNU General Public License -->
<!-- as published by the Free Software Foundation. -->
<!-- Complies with AIML 1.0 Tag Set Specification -->
<!-- as adopted by the ALICE A.I. Foundation. -->
<!-- Knock Knock jokes - Square Bear www.square-bear.co.uk -->
<!-- Make sure you put Knock knock into pickup.aiml or any joke file for the bot to initiate the joke. -->

<category>
<pattern>*</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template>You're supposed to say, "Who's there" now. Let's try it again. Knock Knock.</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHO THEIR</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template><srai>who is there</srai></template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHO THERE</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template><srai>who is there</srai></template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHO DERE</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template><srai>who is there</srai></template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHO IS DER</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template><srai>who is there</srai></template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHOSE THEIR</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template><srai>who is there</srai></template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHOSE THERE</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template><srai>who is there</srai></template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHO IS THEIR</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template><srai>who is there</srai></template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WHO IS THERE</pattern>
<that>KNOCK KNOCK</that>
<template>
<random>
<li>Aardvark</li>
<li>A bee</li>
<li>Adolf</li>
<li>Alison</li>
<li>Amanda</li>
<li>Amos</li>
<li>Anita</li>
<li>Arfur</li>
<li>Arthur</li>
<li>Atch</li>
<li>Bach</li>
<li>Bella</li>
<li>Bet</li>
<li>Boo</li>
<li>Dawn</li>
<li>Despair</li>
<li>Dishwasher</li>
<li>Disguise</li>
<li>Dismay</li>
<li>Doctor</li>
<li>Doris</li>
<li>Dwayne</li>
<li>Egbert</li>
<li>Europe</li>
<li>Fanny</li>
<li>Harmony</li>
<li>Harry</li>
<li>Howard</li>
<li>Isabel</li>
<li>Ivor</li>
<li>Juno</li>
<li>Ken</li>
<li>Lettuce</li>
<li>Little Old Lady</li>
<li>Luke</li>
<li>Madam</li>
<li>Marmite</li>
<li>Martini</li>
<li>Mary</li>
<li>Max</li>
<li>Mickey</li>
<li>Mister</li>
<li>Mummy</li>
<li>Nicholas</li>
<li>Noah</li>
<li>Nobody</li>
<li>Olive</li>
<li>One</li>
<li>Orange</li>
<li>Owl</li>
<li>Phyllis</li>
<li>Police</li>
<li>Rupert</li>
<li>Sal</li>
<li>Soup</li>
<li>Tank</li>
<li>Toby</li>
<li>Waiter</li>
<li>Water</li>
<li>Wendy</li>
<li>William</li>
<li>Woo</li>
<li>Wooden Shoe</li>
<li>York</li>
<li>Zephyr</li>
</random>
</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>LITTLE OLD LADY WHO</pattern>
<that>LITTLE OLD LADY</that>
<template>I didn't know you could yodel!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>AMANDA WHO</pattern>
<that>AMANDA</that>
<template>Amanda fix the doorbell!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WAITER WHO</pattern>
<that>WAITER</that>
<template>Waiter minute while I tie my shoelaces up!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>NICHOLAS WHO</pattern>
<that>NICHOLAS</that>
<template>Nicholas girls shouldn't climb trees!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DORIS WHO</pattern>
<that>DORIS</that>
<template>Doris locked - That's why I knocked!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>LETTUCE WHO</pattern>
<that>LETTUCE</that>
<template>Lettuce in, won't you?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>YORK WHO</pattern>
<that>YORK</that>
<template>York coming over to our place!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ALISON WHO</pattern>
<that>ALISON</that>
<template>Alison to my radio in the mornings!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ISABEL WHO</pattern>
<that>ISABEL</that>
<template>Isabel broken, 'cos I had to knock?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MARMITE WHO</pattern>
<that>MARMITE</that>
<template>Ma might but Pa might not!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ARTHUR WHO</pattern>
<that>ARTHUR</that>
<template>Arthur any biscuits left?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>IVOR WHO</pattern>
<that>IVOR</that>
<template>Ivor sore hand from knocking on your door!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MISTER WHO</pattern>
<that>MISTER</that>
<template>Mister last bus home!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ATCH WHO</pattern>
<that>ATCH</that>
<template>Nasty cold you've got!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DOCTOR WHO</pattern>
<that>DOCTOR</that>
<template>That's right. How did you guess?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ORANGE WHO</pattern>
<that>ORANGE</that>
<template>Orange you glad I called?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MADAM WHO</pattern>
<that>MADAM</that>
<template>Madam finger's caught in the door!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>BOO WHO</pattern>
<that>BOO</that>
<template>No need to cry - it's only a joke!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>OLIVE WHO</pattern>
<that>OLIVE</that>
<template>Olive across the road!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MUMMY WHO</pattern>
<that>MUMMY</that>
<template>Mummeasles are better so can I come in?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>HARRY WHO</pattern>
<that>HARRY</that>
<template>Harry up and let me in!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>FANNY WHO</pattern>
<that>FANNY</that>
<template>Fanny the way you keep saying, "Who's there?" every time I knock!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ADOLF WHO</pattern>
<that>ADOLF</that>
<template>A dolf ball hid me in der moud and I can't dalk proper!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>SOUP WHO</pattern>
<that>SOUP</that>
<template>Soup-erman!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>BET WHO</pattern>
<that>BET</that>
<template>Bet you don't know who's knocking on your door!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>JUNO WHO</pattern>
<that>JUNO</that>
<template>Juno what the time is - my watch is broken?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>EUROPE WHO</pattern>
<that>EUROPE</that>
<template>Europe early this morning!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ARFUR WHO</pattern>
<that>ARFUR</that>
<template>Arfur got!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>EGBERT WHO</pattern>
<that>EGBERT</that>
<template>Egbert no bacon!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>LUKE WHO</pattern>
<that>LUKE</that>
<template>Luke through the keyhole and you'll see!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>KEN WHO</pattern>
<that>KEN</that>
<template>Ken I come in?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>BELLA WHO</pattern>
<that>BELLA</that>
<template>Bella not-a work so I knock-a on-a de door!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DISMAY WHO</pattern>
<that>DISMAY</that>
<template>Dismay be a joke but it doesn't make me laugh!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>TOBY WHO</pattern>
<that>TOBY</that>
<template>Toby or not to be...</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>RUPERT WHO</pattern>
<that>RUPERT</that>
<template>Rupert your left arm in, your left arm out...</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DAWN WHO</pattern>
<that>DAWN</that>
<template>Dawn leave me standing out here in the cold!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>AMOS WHO</pattern>
<that>AMOS</that>
<template>Amosquito!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DISHWASHER WHO</pattern>
<that>DISHWASHER</that>
<template>Dishwashn't de way I shpoke before I had falsh teeth!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MARTINI WHO</pattern>
<that>MARTINI</that>
<template>Martini hand is frozen so let me in!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ZEPHYR WHO</pattern>
<that>ZEPHYR</that>
<template>Zephyr de doctor, I got a code id de node!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>OWL WHO</pattern>
<that>OWL</that>
<template>Owl you know unless you open the door?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WENDY WHO</pattern>
<that>WENDY</that>
<template>Wendy red, red robin comes bob, bob, bobbin' along!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>PHYLLIS WHO</pattern>
<that>PHYLLIS</that>
<template>Phyllis up with a glass of water - I'm parched!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>AARDVARK WHO</pattern>
<that>AARDVARK</that>
<template>Aardvark a million miles for one of your similes, my maaaaammy...</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>NOAH WHO</pattern>
<that>NOAH</that>
<template>Noah good place to eat?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>POLICE WHO</pattern>
<that>POLICE</that>
<template>Police let me in - It's cold out here!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MICKEY WHO</pattern>
<that>MICKEY</that>
<template>Mickey's stuck in the door!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WILLIAM WHO</pattern>
<that>WILLIAM</that>
<template>William mind your own business!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MARY WHO</pattern>
<that>MARY</that>
<template>Mary Christmas!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ONE WHO</pattern>
<that>ONE</that>
<template>One-der why you keep asking that?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>HOWARD WHO</pattern>
<that>HOWARD</that>
<template>Howard you like to stand out here in the cold while some idiot keeps saying, "Who's there...?".</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>MAX WHO</pattern>
<that>MAX</that>
<template>Max no difference - just open the door!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>SAL WHO</pattern>
<that>SAL</that>
<template>Sal-ong way to Tipperary...</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>HARMONY WHO</pattern>
<that>HARMONY</that>
<template>Harmony knock knock jokes do you expect me to know!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>TANK WHO</pattern>
<that>TANK</that>
<template>You're welcome!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DISGUISE WHO</pattern>
<that>DISGUISE</that>
<template>Disguise the limit!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WOODEN SHOE WHO</pattern>
<that>WOODEN SHOE</that>
<template>Wooden shoe like to know!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>ANITA WHO</pattern>
<that>ANITA</that>
<template>Anita borrow a pencil!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WOO WHO</pattern>
<that>WOO</that>
<template>Don't get so excited, it's only a joke!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DWAYNE WHO</pattern>
<that>DWAYNE</that>
<template>Dwayne the bathtub - I'm dwowning!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>DESPAIR WHO</pattern>
<that>DESPAIR</that>
<template>Despair tyre is flat!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>WATER WHO</pattern>
<that>WATER</that>
<template>Water you doing talking to a robot?</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>BACH WHO</pattern>
<that>BACH</that>
<template>Bach to work, you slackers!</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>A BEE WHO</pattern>
<that>A BEE</that>
<template>A bee c d e f g h i j k l ...</template>
</category>

<category>
<pattern>NOBODY WHO</pattern>
<template>...</template>
</category>

</aiml>