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annoy-a-tron

I have a co-worker. We'll call him Brian.

Brian likes to mess with people: practical jokes, sarcastic remarks, playing dumb, whatever. Lucky for those of us who are subjected to his grief, Brian leaves his computer unlocked when he walks away from it. Unlucky for Brian, he works with programmers.

One day, while Brian was out to lunch, we wrote a script to annoy Brian at random intervals, and installed it on his computer. This was fun for a while, but now it's time to step it up. It's time to add the the ability to change the prank without having to touch his computer, and it's time to get people outside these walls involved.

How it works

Every few minutes, Brian's computer pulls down any updates from this repo. Additionally, the annoy-a-tron script is also run every few minutes, so changing the annoying behavior is as simple as changing the script called in annoy-a-tron.

How you can help

Fork this repo, add a script that does something annoying, and issue a Pull Request. The annoying thing your script needs to be simple, funny, appropriate for a work environment, and cannot be destructive or hateful. Some things that we've had Brian's computer do so far:

  • Say "Ooo, right there"
  • Announce a randomly-generated time
  • Play a random system alert sound
  • Say "System Updates Available"
  • Hide/minimize all windows for currently-open applications

If you'd like to see what we've done in the past, just dig through the repo and model your script on one of those.

Miscellaneous notes

  1. Brian uses OS X, so any contribution should work on a stock, non-developer OS X install.
  2. Scripts can be in any language (provided that language is available on a stock OS X system), but should stick to that language's standard library
  3. If you shell out to anything in your script, please ensure that utility is installed on the system by default.
  4. Scripts should include a shebang line, and should be executable.
  5. Scripts should be entirely self-contained.
  6. Any script that is destructive, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or deemed by me to be shitty will be rejected.

LICENSE

See the included LICENSE file for more information, but in short: consider this repo a public service for anyone that has a co-worker like Brian. Hopefully your Brian also leaves his/her computer unlocked.

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None of us is as annoying as all of us.

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