[release-17.0] VDiff: Cleanup the controller for a VDiff before deleting it (#14107)

[vitess-bot]

Description

This is a backport of #14107

[vitess-bot]

Review Checklist

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[vitess-bot]

Hello @mattlord, there are conflicts in this backport.

Please address them in order to merge this Pull Request. You can execute the snippet below to reset your branch and resolve the conflict manually.

Make sure you replace origin by the name of the vitessio/vitess remote

git fetch --all
gh pr checkout 14125 -R vitessio/vitess
git reset --hard origin/release-17.0
git cherry-pick -m 1 04834c4fec33bdec0102174cb26e8f15359cfaa2

[mattlord]

I'm going to override and merge as this is not upgrade/downgrade related and those are currently broken from: #14071

[frouioui]

I'm going to override and merge as this is not upgrade/downgrade related and those are currently broken from: #14071

Fixed via #14143